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Wednesday, January 30, 2013

New Zealand 3 - Two Weeks for the Rest of Your Life


Friends, Family, and other random hangers-on,

While I obviously acknowledge I haven't emailed out any moderately offensive/informative emails recently, I'm far from the verge of apologizing for it.  New Zealand is such a breathtakingly awesome place that the notion of spending the time in an internet cafe to write home is borderline insanity.  But my Contiki tour is now complete, my new family has all moved on back to their own homes and angry girlfriends, and I'm alone in Auckland waiting for the 1:15 showing of The Fighter.  So here we go. 

CONTIKI!!
If you are under the age of 35 and single, do yourself a favor and do a Contiki tour.  If you are not single, just save yourself the trouble and cheat on your partner in the comfort of your own neighborhood (aside from the couple who became engaged on this trip, people who came in with outside relationships had a poor track record.  I did not participate in any home-wrecking personally, but did place bets on it).  This trip is, in a nutshell, a busfull of people almost as crazy as myself travelling for the same reasons - get away from real life, see incredible stuff, meet nice people, and have someone else plan your meals and bookings and lodging.  The hardest decisions I made were what places I wanted to bungee jump from (all of them), where to sit while white-water rafting (up front), and what kind of beer to buy (overruled, McKenna Bourbon).  

My group was about 40-strong to begin with, and I was fortunate enough to room with a handful of very funny gentlemen, resulting in a budding Bromance that added to my enjoyment of the trip.  The standard day, if there is such a thing, consisted of waking up at 6am, bags to the bus, breakky, and then sleeping for 3-4 hours while we traversed the country.  The view out the windows of the bus was generally out of this world.  I didn't want to sleep through any of it which, paradoxically, ensured that I would (see facebook picture).
I was granted custody of Lambikins, the group dunce cap, very early on for my out-going and friendly (read: stupid) behaviour and held on to it for so long that most of my group forgot I actually had hair.  It made me a real winner at the Queenstown pub crawl, however, as my group always knew how to find me and rally up. 
Contiki Summary:  A big family adventure trip by day, and party by night.  Lots of good times.  Very expensive.  Worth every penny.  It was so packed with bonding, sight-seeing and activities that I can't believe it was only about 2 weeks long.  I feel like it would've taken any sane person travelling alone at least a month to drink it all in.

Lake Tekapo
The first stop on our journey through the imaginary fantasyworld of New Zealand is Lake Tekapo.  Formed by glaciation, this lake simply is not real.  The exact shade of blue is just not possible to describe nor reproduce, and I was deeply jealous of the Japanese couple who were getting married in the itty bitty chapel overlooking it when we arrived.  As I'm writing this I am attempting to upload pictures to facebook, but the computer I'm on works only a little faster than the glacial erosion which formed the subject of my pictures.  Damn.  You'll have to wait a bit.  After going through the obnoxious process of reattaching my jaw to my face, I was deeply chagrined to have it fall off again when we arrived at our resort for the evening.  A full 70km from civilization of any kind, I was treated to my first Milky Way sighting of the trip and decided then and there that New Zealand isn't a real place.  After earning Lambikins by tripping sensually over a bench, I successfully convinced the group that getting as many people as possible into the hot tub was a great idea.  16 was our record, falling short of the all-time contiki record of 19 but still impressive given the husky nature of many in our group. 

Milford Sound 
Milford Sound further convinced me that New Zealand is not a real place.  "The Dirty Milf," as it's affectionately known, is not actually a sound (formed by running water) but a fjord (glacially created), but was so named because Milford Fjord sounds stupid.  We hopped on a cruise ship for the afternoon and ended up spending the night on it, all 40 of us, in absurdly cramped bunks (4 to a room).  We jumped into the fjord, paddled around in kayaks and just generally frolicked like our lives depended on it.  The following day was one of the highlights of my entire trip, as we had an opportunity for a scenic flight around the Sound.  When these computers work properly I'll upload the pictures, about 70 of which come from this flight.  You may think this repetitive or excessive - you are wrong. This place is proof that God exists (or proof that glacial erosion exists, depending on your outlook) and there's just nothing else like it. 

Q-Tip
Queenstown is pure insanity.  The activities, the views, the people, and the drinking are all extreme.  It's also the birthplace of Bungee Jumping and home to the largest bungee in New Zealand, the Nevis Cliffs.  I did all of these things:

www.canyonswing.co.nz
http://www.bungy.co.nz/the-nevis/the-nevis-bungy
http://www.bungy.co.nz/the-ledge/the-ledge-bungy This one is special - rather than tie up your ankles and have you dangle off, this is a full-body harness you have to run off of.  I opted for the reverse backflip (running forward and kicking upward).  I'll put the video on facebook as soon as I get a computer that isn't steam-operated. 

I also did the Kawaru bungee, sky-diving, a jet-boat ride, and white-water rafting in the city.  Throw in some Gondola rides, sweet views and a few unreal parties, and my entire body was vehemently giving me the finger when we finally left the Q. 

My time is running out on this computer, so I must go.  I'll email again shortly.  I love and miss most of you.  Facebook photos should be up soon, and I'll be back in the states on the 28th.  Barley House Saturday evening.  I'm already excited. 

Kindest Regards,
Rusty

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